Chonco Literary

Following a judicial landslide freeing the "West Memphis 3" - the controversial conviction and long awaited release of three suspects in the 1993 murder of a trio of Arkansas youths - the defense counsels have combined their legal expertise to seek justice for all wrongfully convicted prisoners, providing their cases promise sufficient publicity.

"Here at the Law Offices of Dixie, Dixie, Vedder, Depp, and Dixie, we strive to provide our clients with the highest quantity of news coverage and celebrity endorsements of any criminal law specialists in the nation", observed Johnny Depp, founder and one of thiry-five spokespersons for the newly minted law firm. "We also do Bar Mitzvahs, award shows, and the occassional Oprah."

Co-counsel, Eddie Vedder, concurred. "The wailing behemoth of the American 'just-less' system can nigh conceal the bleeding black holes of its soul. Its bitter loins shall chafe beyond plagued abesesses, yet no lyre or Lamasil may quench it's ire."

"After we did Earl's Gotta Die, I realized that sometimes it's important to kill people and not get caught", observed angry Dixie Chick, Natalie Maines. "And that's why I'm here."

The Manson Mental Health Minute

By Rapthar's Hammer!! Did you hear about all the bird and fish deaths?!? Everybody's saying it's the end of the world, but I know better. It's the Decepticons again. 

As you know, the increasing population of transforming robots has caused a shift in the Earth's magnetic field effecting avian and amphibian migration habits. We can only assume it will have the same effect on bear hibernation, wildebeest herd movement, and Cuba Gooding Jr.'s movie role selection.  Therefore,we must join forces with the Autobots to defeat this growing evil!!

I'm sure most of you have already figured out that Shia Lebouf's character, Sam Witwicky, is based on me.  See, if you replace the S with a C and itwicky with anson and flip the W over so it's an M and get rid of the am and replace it with harles, you totally get my name!

If they ever found me, they'd be able to take over the universe. That's why I wrap myself in tin foil and repeat my mantra every day under the bleachers in the Rec Yard.

"Lipnicki...Lipnicki...Lipnicki...Lipnicki..."