Chonco Media, Inc

Injury Report

Barnstead, NH- Maintenance worker, Ike Johnson, is doubtful for Saturday's overtime shift at the Lakes Region Pellet factory after being sidelined Thursday with a sore right hamstring.

"It's been a tough year", the Electrician admitted.  "Last month, the calf strain.  Now this.  I'm not worried though.  I'll bounce back."

LRP has had a long string of injuries during the first quarter of 2012, including janitor, Rick Martin's, torn miniscus.

"It's a long year", remarked factory manager, Jeff Langston.  "We still have some weapons on the floor.  Bill Mentser may have a few years on him, but he's still the best lathe worker in the biz."

Carl Frank, owner and CEO of Dongora Pellet Factory, was more blunt.  "Hell, without Johnson and Martin, they really can't even compete."   

Word Alert!!

Yowza and hubba-hubba! Did you know the words "Pashtun" and "Pontoon" were different?!? Lo es verdad!

See, Pashtuns, also known as Ethnic Afghans, are typically characterized by their usage of the Pashto language and practice of Pashtunwali, which is a traditional set of ethics guiding individual and communal conduct.

Likewise pontoons are flotation devices with buoyancy sufficient to float themselves as well as a heavy load, such as Oprah. Unlike Pashtuns, pontoons have no religious preference, but drift toward Scientology as do most inanimate objects like Tom Cruise.

It should be noted that Pashtuns can ride on pontoons, but to attempt the alternative may cause spine curvature and hip dysplasia.